I try to read more but what else is there when I don’t wanna just read? I’ve done some notebook stuff too but I’ve found using it too much makes me be anxious about writing a lot down lol.
For instance as I lay on the bed for 10-20 minutes waiting for my child to take their nap. Do I just stare into the void?
For anyone with a noisy self destructive brain like mine appears to be, I got pretty good at mindfulness by walking the exact same route through the forest the exact same time every day and by just sort of casually observing the sights and smells which somehow became a mental association with “these thoughts are normal and OK” including those extremely dark ones if you know what I mean
Basically any time a bird is making a sound now I can just enter a meditative sort of state where thoughts just come and go regardless of how evil those thoughts are. I changed the angle of my skylight window in my bedroom so that it acoustically catches the sound of the birds on the tree to my east, and if you know birds they sort of go sit on the same branch and sing the same exact bullshit on a somehow perfect schedule
Lately going through the darkest period of my life. When I manage to finally fall asleep I wake up from horrifying nightmares but there is a bird that will sit on my skylight at exactly 4am and he gets me back to sleep ez and I stay asleep
I used to have a hummingbird couple that I chilled with on my balcony every sunset but unfortunately they passed away this year
Sleep deprived ramble but maybe there’s some wisdom here
I didn’t want to mention it in my initial comment, but that is something I need to work on too lol
Like 80% of the time my mind wanders it’s usually some self deprecating nonsense, or extremely critical analysis of my failure in life. I figure it’s stuff I need to process anyway, but the countless amount of times I call myself worthless trash probably isn’t doing me any favors lol
Yeah it’s really easy to lose the plot sometimes. Lately at my desk at work the words “worthless animal” and “I trusted you” are what the voice in my head won’t stop shouting so I’m slowly picking up the pieces with the forest routine again and trying to get that noise to ease up a little bit
With info overload these days everyone struggles with this to some extent I do believe